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Today I wore all black to the gym so I was totally like a ninja if ninjas carried pink iPod Shuffles instead of poison darts and expandable spears.

03/20/2012

This is exactly what I wore to the gym this morning which is not only really practical but accentuates my big breasts and blond hair.

This morning I have been gifted a rare gift: I get to watch whatever I want on TV. Madylin and Sean are at school and Amelia fell back asleep (she was up EARLY this morning). I am not forced to watch shows about anthropomorphic trains and red dogs with overactive pituitary glands… but there is nothing on! I’m not a Kelly Ripa fan (I don’t dislike her but I don’t want to look at her man pecs either), it’s too early for sexual crimes (no matter how hot Christopher Meloni is), and 16 and Pregnant is depressing as hell (but makes me thankful my daughter isn’t a southern cheerleader). So I am posting a post on my oft neglected blog.

Today at the gym I saw a woman on crutches working out. For a nanosecond I thought that was pretty ridiculous… until I realized I would do the same thing. I mean, I’m the asshole that tried to run through a stress fracture and–quite literally–dragged my broke leg behind me as I pathetically clung to my “Sub-20:00 at the Mineola Mustang” dream. That stunt led to the first of many, many MRIs. So, um, yeah, I could totally see me crutching over to the weight benches at Planet Fitness. In fact, with my proclivity to injuries, that will probably be me this time next year. So instead of being all judgey, I say “Rock on, determined lady! You go! Kick ass! Men suck!” and other inspirational angry girl-band sayings.

The Misfits paved the way for angry grrrls Avril Lavigne and Pink and Ashlee Simpson.

One of my favorite things to do when I am injured is stage a grandiose come-back and create an elaborate color-coded training plan on Excel. While some runners may feel like this is rubbing salt on their wound (figuratively), I feel it helps to have some sort of goal (yes, even if it never actually happens). Being able to channel that running energy into something keeps me from taking drastic measures–like putting on all my finisher’s medals and crying into my Lisa Frank unicorn diary with REM’s Everybody Hurts on repeat. Also, I am really nerdy and love making spreadsheets.

The other thing I like to do because I have no friends because I am awesome is play the “What Can I Run?” game on the McMillan Running Calculator. You can plug in a recent race time and get predictions for other race distances as well as training paces for your long runs, recovery days, tempo runs, and track workouts. It’s pretty neat. I used to be able to calculate paces in my head but since I’ve had Sean and Amelia I’ve become a stupid and I need tools like McMillan and the Cool Running calculator.

I submitted a finishing time of 3:37 to the Marine Corps Marathon (because I have an inflated sense of self combined with delusions of a BQ), but according to last night’s round of “What Can I Run?” I’m not too far off… if my porcelain hips cooperate.

I used my time from It's a Wonderful Run 5K in December.

The weather is amazingly amazing right now so being sidelined is extra torturous, but I am going to attempt another run tomorrow afternoon. I ran 3 days last week and would like to get out 2-3 times this week. Just trying to take it smart and slow so I will be ready to kick-off MCM training on June 11. All easier said than done.

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