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Tawnya made me write this.

03/01/2012

My never-ending injury has totally made me a blog slacker. I just have nothing to write about. Just nothing. Nothing nothing. As in nothing. But yesterday Tawnya did me a huge solid and as payment she demaned requested a post about her. What a fame whore.

Tawnya is pretty hilarious and for some reason she married Rich. Rich, er, um, well, Rich knows how to tie a tie and wears a mean powder-blue argyle sweater. MY HUSBAND is like Rich but rolls his eyes a lot more (A LOT more). However, combine the forces of Tawnya and me and you will create the perfect storm of potty talk and sexual innuendo. Our “act” resembles the sense of humor of a 10-year-old boy with the vocabulary of a crusty sailor and the delivery of Roseanne Barr. You can dress us up but you cannot take us out.

I am sporting some real boobage in this picture making it one of my all-time favorite pictures of me.

That picture was snapped at a wedding where we systematically drove every other person seated at our table to stand in the back for the remainder of the reception. At first we thought they just wanted to be closer to the chocolate covered strawberries but after an hour or so it became apparent it was us, not them. Whatevs. We’re hilarious.

But even though Tawnya wears overalls and tosses out camel toe one-liners faster than I can spot the offending crotch, she’s good people and can be counted on when it counts.

In November of 2010 I tricked her into running an 8K to raise money for Roswell Park Cancer Institute. At the time our friends’ daughter had just completed treatment there was healthy and cancer-free. We wanted to honor little Camryn and how brave she was, so Tawnya quit her Zumba and hit the track at the gym, lapping old men and making flirty faces at the even older ones.  And on Thanksgiving morning so totally trotted that turkey like a badass mother runner.

Pre-race jitters? Hardly.

Unfortunately, Tawnya is not so much a fan of running and whenever I try to get her to run again, her awesome husband says things like “Why would she run? We have a car.” The car has seat warmers so it is kind of hard to argue with that logic in frigid Western New York. So I’ve found a new event to trick Tawnya into doing with me this June–The Ride for Roswell. I can’t run because of my peg leg and Tawnya can’t run because she loathes it, but we can both ride! And since Roswell Park Cancer Institute is near and dear to both of our hearts, we needed no other motivation.

We’re still hammering out the details (team name, the route–I want the  44-miler but Tawnya wants the 33, et cetera), but on Saturday, June 23 we are going to be tackling the streets of Buffalo to raise money for this amazing cause. Check back soon for how you can help us fight cancer! And  in the meantime, everyone should befriend a friend from a farm. You won’t regret it.

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