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Running Hiatus: Day 4

12/15/2011

Yesterday I had like a hundred jillion blog views, give or take. I attributed the sudden surge in numbers as the world finally discovering my brilliance, but MY HUSBAND said it was because I had three new posts yesterday. He said that it was the same 30 people just clicking refresh over and over to keep up with my high nonsense output. Honestly, I think now that we are Canadian-side, MY HUSBAND is jealous I’ve become an international internetsweb sensation in the blogosphere and will take any opportunity to rain on my Boxing Day Parade (December 26th!). He is such a Debbie Downer!

Twinsies???

Yesterday I was all “I don’t miss running! Not one bit! Running is for the birds!” Today I will issue a reversal, and whine I miss running! I miss it so much! I miss it more than slouch socks and scrunchies (which is A LOT!!!). I am so bored with the bike and it’s only been 4 (of 10) days. I might not have hit this desperate point until at least tomorrow if I could listen to music as I pedal to nowhere. Did I mention Sean fed my ear buds to the dog? I did? Oh. Well Sean fed my ear buds to the dog, and I am stuck watching the craptacular local news–who was reporting a heartfelt story about some kids that asked a mall Santa for their dad to return home from Afghanistan for Christmas. The dad then jumped out from behind Santa and it was all caught on film–but when my local news team went to roll the footage of this wonderful Christmas miracle, up popped a still shot of JERRY SANDUSKY!!! I just CANNOT make this shit up. The newslady, who mentioned she was in high school in 1995 but looks 25 years older than me, was like “Ooops, our bad! That’s not it!” Well, duh! That couldn’t be more opposite! (Click here to see what those idiots were supposed to show, and get your tissues handy because it is a tear-jerker!)

Another follow-up from yesterday is my ass bone (don’t google that) pain. I decided since I wanted to watch Barbara Walters’ Semi-Fascinating People Showcase Showdown last night, I would kill two birds with one stone and do my sit-ups, et al in front of the playroom TV. This smart thinkin’ meant I would have carpet AND a yoga mat nestling my sore coccyx. It still kinda hurt so I was tried to circumvent my butt crack on the way up and now the right side of my back is super sore today. Damn hardwood floors in my olde tyme house! And damn Barbara Walters! I stayed up until 11:00–that’s PM!!!–to watch that big disappointment! I didn’t care one lick about Herman Cain or Derek Jeter or Katy Perry. I wanted to see Pippa! I love Pippa! I have a platonic love crush on her perky Pippa booty! But no. There was no interview with Pippa. There was just a bunch of pictures of Pippa that I could see in any old issue of US Weekly and Barbara saying things like “Here’s Pippa in a short dress! Here’s Pippa in a long dress! Here’s Pippa in jeans and red heals!” WTF kinda of reporting is that? I was also interested in the Amanda Knox interview THAT NEVER HAPPENED. That was also a bunch of clips voiced over by Babs. And the most fascinating person of the year? DEAD! I sat through an interview with 4 Kardashians for this???

But I digress. Mostly because one of my neighbors is getting a big delivery from Raymour & Flanigan and I need to find my binoculars and secure a good watching spot behind my couch.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. 12/15/2011 10:08 AM

    A record for lol’s with this post. Who needs crunches? My daily dose of RFDFD is my ab workout.

    Good news for you: I recently saw some young whipper-snappers on the bus with slouch socks. Seriously. They might be coming back. :)

    • Suzanne permalink*
      12/15/2011 1:01 PM

      Flattery will get you everywhere! When slouch socks come back in full force, I’m getting you a pair.

  2. Danielle permalink
    12/16/2011 3:04 PM

    How did I miss this post? Flipping work getting in the way of my day giggles. Love the SNL pic!

    • Suzanne permalink*
      12/16/2011 9:39 PM

      You should probably quit your job.

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