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The blog post titled “MY HUSBAND has very good reason to be jealous because I have fallen in love with another.”


During the busy Turkey weekend I didn’t have time to sit and blog a blog. I was shuffling between work and my in-laws in Lewiston (I totally shit you not–you can see Canada from their house), and couldn’t find a chunk of time to stare at the computer and ignore my kids. But I am sure you were all to busy camping out in front of Wal-Mart for some sort of Tickle Me Apple XBox anyway.

That's what I'm talkin' aboot!

The Very Good Run Fast Shoppe (not its real name) opened the new location (which I will call The New Very  Good Run Fast Shoppe, also not its real name) on Black Friday. It is really nice–like a super trendy New York City boutique that tourists who have never run a step in their lives would wander into not realizing it is a running store because it is just so darn pretty and are super disappointed when the discover that the GUs are not souvenir chocolates. “You mean to tell me that runners just SQUIRT this gunk into their pie holes? My, you city folk are cah-ray-zee!”

I was the only new-hire hired for the new location (got that?) and I can look at it in one of two ways: 1) I was hired for the new store because despite the fact that I may have just purchased mom jeans at Kohls, my super hot looks and Lawnguylin accent make me an awesome employee that will attract millions of beautiful customers or (and most likely) 2) They know The New Very Good Run Fast Shoppe will not be as busy as The Very Good Run Fast Shoppe and they can just hide the lady in mom jeans behind the racks of Helly Hansens.

Regardless, I work there (so HA!) and I am still learning all there is to learn about running shoes–which is A LOT. I’ve tried on many, many pairs the past couple of shifts–Asics 2170, New Balance 860 V2, Nike Free Run 2, Asics Nimbus, Asics Cumulus, Saucony Xodus, and Brooks Ghost 4. But the one shoe I loved with all my love heart was the Saucony ProGrid Guide 5. I would probably leave MY HUSBAND for this shoe if it proposed because I am that enamored. I have been running for a long time and have had a good number of shoes on my feet, and I have never felt a shoe as amazing as this one. It was as if Baby Jesus and Santa Claus wove this shoe out of Care Bears and unicorns–and I really and truly cannot stop thinking about them in a creepy stalker kinda way. I even made them this card on Microsoft Publisher:

You know what is really weird about the internets? People think unicorns and pegasus (pegasi?) are the same animal AND that unicorns should have big sexy human breasts. Also, if you search google images for a picture of Baby Jesus and Santa, you get some Robert Pattinson clip art. I know that Macy’s has somehow made Christmas all about Santa, but I don’t think anyone wants sparkly vampires at their holiday celebrations, skulking around the tree and drinking all the eggnog and preying on their sulky teenage daughters. PLUS, if pop culture were to bastardize Christmas even more, then I demand that it include Harry Potter because nothing says “Merry Christmas!” like a hand-knit sweater from Molly Weasley.

…Where was I?

Oh yes, my one true love! I love the ProGride Guide 5 so very much. This shoe was designed for runners seeking lightweight stability shoe or a heel striker looking to start the transition to a mid-food strike but is wary of the minimalist shoe (have you seen the Brooks Connect? It’s like a ballet slipper). With an 8mm offset (a standard trainer has a 12mm heel to toe drop), the Guide 5 weighs in at only 9.1 ounces! The only con seems to be the foam they use on the bottom. It doesn’t offer the best traction on wet surfaces meaning it is not going to be a good winter running shoe. But the second the snow melts in March April May June, those shoes are MINE!!!

One Comment leave one →
  1. 05/14/2014 7:14 PM

    When I first started ruinnng (about 3 years ago), I did so because I was bored with eliptical and stair machine and spin class. But I’d never liked ruinnng in my life. A few times in college (ok, 20+ years earlier) I had tried ruinnng and always lasted a few days before declaring myself not a runner and giving it up. So when I started a few years ago I did a couch to 5K program that had me increase ruinnng time over 6 weeks so I could run 30 minutes. I don’t know that I ever made it to 30 minutes, maybe 22. But every time it was just brutal. I felt like ruinnng was just so hard! I like hard but really. Then I heard about Jeff Galloway and run/walk and it was like it all fell into place for me. I follow the Galloway ratios pretty consistently so that means at my pace 3/1 or 2/1. Sometimes I go with shorter walk breaks like 45 seconds or 30 seconds. For me, I believe it is the difference between a slower workout that I can do and my quitting and saying ruinnng isn’t for me. It’s a bit strange to talk to runners and I feel a little like a faker when friends and family are so laudatory but I’m doing what works and feels right and healthy for me.

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