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Suck it, Shakespeare.


Incline up, incline
down. Simulates running through
town. Can’t wait til Spring.

You are probably wondering who the creative genius behind that haiku is. Look no further than THIS GAL:

Yes, I am poetically gifted. I am also entered into the Run Like a Mother: The Book NordicTrack C900 Treadmill Giveaway. Visit the Another Mother Runner blog before 11:59 PM on Wednesday, November 30, 2011 and submit your original treadmill-themed haiku for a chance to win. Sure your haiku will not be as awesome as mine, but coming up with 17 mere syllables to top me is at least worth a try.

And since we’re talkin’ treadmills, here is my Know-It-All Winter Treadmill Survival Guide reposted and retweaked from last year:

The treadmill is a necessary evil. There is nothing I hate more than slogging away on that stupid machine. It’s like being trapped in an invisible box without the really cool pantomime makeup. Most runners hate the treadmill, although (as I am always flabbergasted to discover) some actually prefer it (I’m looking at you, Steph). Those people (Steph) are obviously insane and don’t know the joy it is to run outdoors. The sunshine (pouring rain), the suburban wildlife (SUV-driving assholes), jumping over tree roots (beer cans), the fresh air (car exhaust)–it’s all so perfect. But when daylight savings and freezing temps force runners indoors, they have no place to turn but the (dum, dum, dum) treadmill.

Even though I dread the monotony of the ‘mill and badmouth it at every turn, here are (begrudgingly) 5 tips for bringing your run indoors this winter:*

1) Bump up the incline. An incline set on 0 (especially on older models) can simulate running downhill which can be very jarring on your knees. Setting the incline up to (at least) 1 is similar to outdoor terrain and much kinder on your joints.

2) Do not set the speed and/or incline so fast/high that you need to hold on to the console/rails. Take it down a notch and swing your arms instead. You will burn more calories and won’t look quite as stupid.

3) Hit a button every two minutes. The minutes on the treadmill can tick by oh. so. slowly. But mixing up your workout can distract you from staring at your nemesis–the digital display. Put the incline up, put it back down, up your speed, slow it down, et cetera. Or try some speed intervals and hill repeats for longer periods of time. Not only will the minutes fly by, but you will also blast more calories.

4) Add some music. When hoofing it indoors you may need to tune out your screaming kids, a catty conversation 2 treadmills away (HEY! The sign says “No Cell Phones on the Gym Floor!), or the cheeeeeeesey music blasting over the gym speakers. In these cases you NEED to crank up those tunes! Added bonus: the minutes seem to go by quicker with a soundtrack.

5) Maintain good form. When you are running on the treadmill, you are running in a confined space. This causes you to shorten your stride and bound up and down rather than the fluid, forward motion of running outdoors. Pay extra attention to your foot falls, the length of your stride, and your arms (arms should be loose, with hands swinging down near your hips and not across your body). Be careful not to lean too far forward or bend at the waist.

Get outside as much you can this winter, but don’t let the snow and sleet derail your training. The treadmill can keep you on track so you are ready for those big spring races.

In conclusion,  enjoy this video of two dogs on a treadmill. Even my cold, dead heart “Awww”ed at it:


* I am not a doctor, medical expert, personal trainer, or certified running coach. I only play one on this blog

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