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You are all lucky I am still alive to blog this blog.


Ok, disregard my last post. You cannot test a GPS watch on a trail run. When it’s overcast. Near Canada. I was able to pick up a signal by being of those GPS watch wearing dicks with their arm thrust straight up in the air at the starting line of a every road race. But by the time I descended my first hill, twisting down into a marshy, tree-enclosed valley the signal was weak, and I lost it altogether 0.47 miles in. Oh well–I’ll take it to the roads Saturday. Trail running isn’t about mile splits.

So, yes, I went trail running this afternoon! I figured if I went around 4:00 I’d be able to get a good hour in before it started to get dusky and creepy. I was nervous about trail running by myself. I went to Durand-Eastman Park which is on the north side if my town, and I consider my town to be pretty safe. But still. Trails are isolated and there is no shortage of crazy assholes in the world. I wore my Nathan Shadow Pak stocked with cell phone and pepper spray, and felt that as long as I was alert I would be fine.

I have only been there once before when I attended an open workout for Fleet Feet’s Salomon Endurance Team. But the park is small(ish) and I didn’t think I could get so lost that I couldn’t eventually find my way back. The trails were covered with leaves and pine needles making it extra easy to roll an ankle so I tried to stay away from the technical stuff… mostly. It’s trail running! And I couldn’t resist a couple of muddy creek crossings (my right shoe almost got sucked off during one–a total Warrior Dash flashback), balancing along logs, jumping rocks (both on and over), and climbing hill sides so steep I had to go up sideways.

I was huffing and puffing–that trip to the weight room yesterday KILLED me, my muscles were TIRED. But who cares about a little fatigue when you are getting dirty jumping around the woods like a big kid? I saw some beautiful fall colors and 2 deer that made me scream like a school girl. I also got to see a police office standing at the top of a hill I was ascending. When I reached him the conversation went like this:

Me: Everything ok out here?

Officer of the Law: Sure, sure. Everything’s fine… Hey! You didn’t have to see anything suspicious? Like some clothing lying around? Or people, uh, around? Anything suspicious at all? Out of the ordinary?

Me: Uh, no… Are you telling me I should cut my run short and head home?

Office of the Law: No, no! It’s fine! You’re fine! It’s ok! Things are safe! Sorry to scare you!

Me: No, no! It’s better to be safe than sorry. Would rather have you scare me.

You know what my chicken shit ass did, right? Found the closest way out of there–which meant barreling down an extraordinarily steep hill and bursting out onto Lakeshore Boulevard, a heavily trafficked road. I ran along the shoulder of Lakeshore, trying to stay on the grass so I could pretend that I was still off-roading until I came back around to the park entrance and plodded up the hill to my car.

Pro: Trail Run!

Con: Trail Run cut 15:00 short.

Pro: My trail shoes finally resemble trail shoes–all muddy and gross!

Con: I almost got murdered.

Pro: Returned home to find a job offer from The Very Good Run Fast Shoppe!(!!!)

Now here are some pictures for your eyeball viewing pleasure. See how very Blair Witch it was? If I had moxy I would have asked the cop to pose for a picture too but, as you just read, I am Kindergarten-level brave.

A little spooky, right?

Orange stuff growing on a tree! Nature is wack!

The creepy green water where the police WON'T be finding my body tomorrow.

Dirty kicks!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 10/29/2011 8:17 PM

    “Hey, you didn’t happen to trip over a dead body or anything while out there, did you? Not that there is a dead body, but if you find one, you let me know.”

    • Suzanne permalink*
      10/30/2011 2:22 PM

      That’s seriously what it was like.

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